Tonight I went to a "family Simchat Torah-Atzeret" service at Bethel. They did something entirely new (to me): they unwound the Torah scroll all around the sanctuary and had people stand in a row around the aisles and hold up the parchment. For awhile it remained completely unwound, then they began the slow process of re-rolling, while young people came around and read pre-selected sections. It was beautiful! And to my great delight the Song at the Sea unwound directly in front of me...
"Zeh Eli... Elohei Avi..."
"This is my G-d and I will enshrine Him, my father's G-d and I will exalt Him."
All about G-d casting the Pharaoh of Fear into the heart of the sea forevermore... then Miriam danced. Why hold on to fear any more? It's been defeated. "Adonai li, v'lo irah."
Song of the Stars 1 and 2, 2007, דבורח
So much Good Stuff lately. Particularly the last week. Synchronicities abound. So much to be thankful for.
Leo* said he was thinking of calling me just before I called him. S. Fields said my name to someone and I called her right at that moment. I was describing a "unitive" vision of the world to another friend - where Love is extended to all in existence pecause in Truth we are only One, and he described a dream he had the night before, wherein he hugged friends and each melted beyond their physical boundaries into the other and he though to himself "this must be what it is to be loved."
Junebug told me that when synchronicity abounds it's a sign that we are on the right path; where we should be.
Personally, I think these things are meant to encourage me that choosing an ArtLife is the very best thing, and to continue to steer clear of physical temptations, and keep seeking my Creator and creative identity. Also, that r.j. is my home here, and he continues to be the one who keeps me safe, keeps teaching me things about Love.
Didn't I just beg G-d "Please" for I-Don't-Know-What a week ago? Now here I've finished recording tracks for the ep, sold two paintings, get to take two vacations in a row, and get to keep making a difference in this hard-edged realm, softening corners and trying to leave the best clippings for the fatherless and the widow.
Golfo de Mexico, 2010
What does it mean for me to be a Kallah to the Song at the Sea? That portion contains a spontaneous revelation of profound hidden truths to a group of people who has just been delivered by their Father. I believe that G-d is speaking always, and today G-d is saying press on, press in, and do not be afraid! You're my portion.
*names have been changed because it's none of your flippin' beeswax. :P
I thought for a minute that he undersood me, but then I woke up from my rose-colored haze. Maybe some part of him does, but it's not the conscious part.
Oh well. I am me.
I Love the me that G-d made, in which G-d breathes, singular, One. There is only this: the sun through the clouds, in soft-edged rays, sparkling above the surface of a vast, deep indigo blue ocean, so massive and un-fathomable, so peaceful, complex, deceptively simple - the many-veined currents concealing the teeming life forms and groups below. When I want to escape, this is my answer: I am here. The current of Love is calling me to join the dance. Here I am.
Cozumel, Mexico, 2010
I have to say, all these harshities to the heart have not happened without effect.
The loneliness of soul-growth SUCKS royally sometimes. It's a game of sorts, involving purposely sinking to a depth beyond the end of one's rope, then slipping through the tunnel in the barrier, on out thru the Jericho wall of stony, structured civilization, to a scraggly refugee camp a few miles away where no one will believe you anyway, yet you'll be ok now, knowing you've plumbed the depths of a certain sort of loneliness and discovered that it did not lead to the doom you feared, but simply to a new round of questioning and probing.
Z'roah, 2010, דבורח
I've never heard a better metaphor/song retelling of the "ger"-ness of Moshe or Abraham (a choppy paraphrase: I'm a stranger in a strange land, and G-d told me to go this way... even though no one else appears to be going this way with me) besides Radiohead's song "Subterranean Homesick Alien". It's perfect.
making home movies
for the folks back home,
of all these weird creatures
who lock up their spirits,
drill holes in themselves
and live for their secrets.
They're all uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight, uptight, uptight.
I wish that they'd sweep down in a country lane,
late at night when I'm driving.
Take me on board their beautiful ship,
show me the world as I'd love to see it.
I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me,
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely.
I'd show them the stars and the meaning of life.
They'd shut me away.
But I'd be alright, alright,
I'd be alright,