a single singing drop of sea

The spark of the Eternal within us would have even enemies love each other, because indeed the spark in you does love the spark in me. But we cover over their gentle whisper with all species of violent or slothful distractions.

A friend told me the other day that hatred is not truly the opposite of love. Both love and hatred are founded on attention - focusing on something. And at the root of attention, is Love. Hatred is just love gone sour; gone crooked into obsession and resentment and anxiety. If you want to know the real opposite of love, it is indifference. Perhaps that's why the Hebrew prophets, Jesus and so many others have waved giant bright banners over the issue of compassion and care for the poor.

But we build walls. Wrapped, I was born, with a thick little shell for a body...

There must be a way to cut through the Klipot (shells, curtains between us and True life), slice the stone and hear from the Dove (שימן בר יונה). Become a friend of G-d. Tear away the layers of False Self, ego, pride that are dividing me from you and you from you and find that pearl that is worth selling everything for. Find G-d in your own heart, there is no where else to find her.

"First among the items of knowledge that a person must have is knowledge of his own self. It is the root of worship." --Siraj al-Uqul, Yemenite Midrash

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We're asked to choose in this life, between the two directions of flow, ("life and death" Deuteronomy 30:19-20) and which stream we will exist in. Maybe everyone dips their feet in one or the other at times. But it seems like there is a choice inherent in the situation: choose life or choose death.

Choose healing, the drive for renewal: Binding up broken hearts by the sacred act of Listening to those who grieve. Setting the captives free from whatever Mitzrayim (Egypt) they are bound in - fear, guilt, anxiety, shame, addictive behaviors - by commiseration and the words of your own story; essentially by honesty and breaking the silence that implies that I am not suffering and struggling right along with you. And keeping faith with those who sleep in the dust: feeding the homeless & hungry, visiting the prisoners in our prison system, treating all people with respect and dignity by making eye contact and reducing your monopoly on the conversation.

This is the flow of tikkun olam (restoring the world) that we are constantly, gently being prodded to join by that singing drop of the sea that is always humming in the hiddenmost part of our hearts. It is a walk of faith; faith that there will always be something to give, so give freely. Faith that there will always and forever be a flow, a deep wellspring gushing up to eternal life; mercy to go around and back again.

Poverty and Chivalry

Poverty and Chivalry, 2010, דבורה

Ev'ryone wants to be a prophet
but no one wants to cry

Ev'ryone wants to be Jesus
with a splinter in their eye

Ev'ryone wants to be Che
but no one here knows why

yeah, ev'ryone wants to be John Lennon
but no one wants to die

Rooted in Heaven consciousness

"Happy is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of the scornful. Rather he delights in the teaching of the L-rd, and meditates on it day and night. He's like...

...a tree, planted by streams of water...

...which brings forth it's fruit in season, whose leaf does not wither; and whatever he does, he will prosper."
Tehillim 1:1-3

For a razor-sharp mystical exploration of parashat Bechukotai, I recommend this article by R. Shefa Gold: http://www.rabbishefagold.com/Bechukotai.html

Give back

This song is brilliant. Yeah, it's not every day I am driven to blog by Orthodox Jewish Rappers. Well, today is a new day.

What I wrote in my last post was mostly me letting off steam. Sometimes religion starts feeling really itchy and confining, and there is a part of me that just stretches out a bit and sends big cracks shooting through the body of my religion(s). None of them seem to fit quite right all of the time. And yes, sometimes it's all very confusing and thanks for your patience, world.

Anyway, I'm operating from the belief that there is Something Else that underlies all the beautiful and varied religious practices and prayers and prejudices. And I've been trying to find that Something for a long time; trying to get to the bottom of things. I know sometimes I miss the forest for the trees. In some wonderful moments I am the forest.

"Meister Eckhardt said that our religions are like houses. Each house has a trap door somewhere down in the basement, and if we go deep enough, we will fall through the trap door into a river that flows beneath all of us." - Samir Selmanovic, It's Really All About God

There's a line in this song that (to me) pretty much sums up what I've found to be true about that River flowing underneath...

"Stakes is high, all ya do is try to take
fill up yourself, number one mistake
give back to the world, that's the only way
redemption comin' like a runaway train."

It's weird how Matisyahu can distill pure, unadulturated Wisdom into reggae-rap music. Yep, weird. But I like it.

And this is exactly what I've found. I think this is what the kingdom of G-d / Malchut is. The Shekhinah presence of G-d that chose to be exiled with us, and is every moment shining through the seams and about to break through and bear fruit. Her ways are ways of pleasantness and all of her paths are peace. Her way is to love your neighbor. To judge not lest you be judged. To reach across cultural and religious boundaries and show compassion without expectation to the people you thought G-d didn't even like (cause that's what Samaritans were to 1st century Jews).

So yeah, that's my soap box for the day. Don't operate out of the ego, turn the tide; give, don't take. And things just might change for the better...

Yesterday I was consumed

Yesterday I was consumed by my own feelings and griefs and attitudes. I was sad; quite sad. I walked around in a fog.

This man in beat up clothes who looked like he had been dragged through a river and dried out in the sun looked at me as I walked out of the grocery store and said in a strained voice, "ma'am, can I ask you a question?" "drug addict" said the uncharitable side of my mind. "I'm sorry," I said. "I don't have any money."

Yeah, and it was true. I didn't have any money. But I felt this little sinking sensation in my solar plexus that told me I could have done something anyway. I passed up an opportunity to just talk to the guy for more than two seconds, and to give him some desperately needed respect and love by treating him like a real human being. Conversely, I've been doing great in the religious forums; stockpiling lots of respect for my ability to memorize and regurgitate facts. Ugh, this is not adding up.

I'm a little disgusted with myself, is it coming through in the typing?

So, this is it; I'm just going to say it.

I have a hard time believing in "-ism's" and "-ianity's," particularly because they so often seem to separate people instead of unifying people. I'm not just responsible for caring for the people in one religious group; I am responsible for the whole of humanity. Either all men are made in the image of G-d, or no men are. I don't accept groups. I only accept people.

What I believe in is not doctrines or articles of faith, but rather it is the Eternal Now, the Kingdom of Heaven. And it is here, in this moment, in my being and the faces of others and the natural environment I find myself in. 'Today, if you will listen." I don't care what you call it, honestly, I don't; and I'd rather not be sold someone else's views on the subject. I love my Creator with all the pathetic little paper roses and macaroni pictures my soul can muster, and I believe that I was born for one thing: to show compassion to my fellow man, and to reflect every good thing in my life back to my Loving Creator who for whatever strange reason, never gets tired of reaching out a helpful Arm when I cry for Mercy. There's this well-spring of infinite Love. Can you feel it? There's an invisible door to it in the center of my gnarly little being.

Tradition and spiritual discipline are, and always will be, a part of my life. But if I am being really honest with myself, I feel the Presence of the Divine, שכינה, in three things:

~Long walks in the beauty of Nature, where I offer words and songs and dances to the invisible G-d whose beauty seems to saturate the creation itself and I am full and overflowing in the abundance of it all.

~When I am creating art in various mediums and the little "me" disappears.

~And in the eyes of all people: brothers, sisters, strangers, neighbors, nemeses, lovers, friends.

That's what I have learned so far. What did you do today?